Tom Christofferson and Dave Checketts Visit Southern Virginia with Message of Inclusivity, Faith
By John Gaughan
It was early 2008 when Tom Christofferson, a former church member in a long-term homosexual relationship, found himself sitting in Bishop Bruce Larson’s home in New Canaan, Connecticut. For months he had slipped in late to the New Canaan Ward’s sacrament meetings and left quickly after the last “amen.” He had come to Bishop Larson to explain his situation and get one question answered: was he welcome?
Dave Checketts’ then-recent calling as the Yorktown New York Stake President and Christofferson’s meeting with Bishop Larson eventually brought the two together on a life-changing journey. Most recently, this journey brought them to Buena Vista.
The two arrived Thursday to speak at a workshop hosted by Jeff Benedict and Southern Virginia’s Institute for Writing and Mass Media; they then spoke at the University’s weekly Convocation the following day. Their topic was Christofferson’s path to becoming, as he describes himself, a “happy, gay Mormon,” and the insights Checketts gained along the way that transformed how he led the Yorktown Stake.
Their visit started that Thursday afternoon at “the barn,” a guest house adjacent to Benedict’s former home, hidden at the end of a bumpy dirt road on the edge of town. For Checketts, the scene was a welcome contrast to his day-to-day life in big cities. The serene setting gave way to the day’s packed agenda, but Checketts is used to keeping busy. He’s currently preparing to step away from a demanding career in the upper echelons of the sports and entertainment industries before he reports to Provo, UT in July to serve as a mission president in London, England.
Christofferson arrived half an hour after Checketts with the small meeting already underway. When he came in, Benedict approached him quietly and asked if he wanted time to take his bags upstairs and get settled. Christofferson declined, put down his luggage, and sat down next to Checketts with a smile.
Like Checketts, Christofferson has a full schedule between his career as a finance executive and the release of his book last September. Before Buena Vista, he visited Dallas last week for a fireside and his home in Salt Lake. Shortly after Convocation the next day, he would fly to Omaha for work.
In his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith & Family, Christofferson referred to his current life as a gay Mormon as a “doubly rich experience.” But that wasn’t always the case. As a young man, he felt his homosexuality made him unacceptable to God. After years of fasting and prayer, he felt he could not find a way to reconcile being gay and Mormon. He annulled his new marriage, came out to his faithful LDS family, left the Church, and, as he puts it, began looking for a way to be gay and happy.
His parents soon decided that including their son in their lives mattered more than whether or not his behavior conformed to their expectations. They strove to fully include Christofferson and later his partner in their family. For nearly two decades, the Christoffersons loved, supported, and stayed close to one another despite their disagreements. “I never had the feeling that my family’s love was conditional on whether I came back to church,” he said in an interview Thursday.
“I never had the feeling that my family’s love was conditional on whether I came back to church.”
However, Christofferson’s desire to feel the Holy Ghost, coupled with a sense of his life lacking a higher purpose, slowly drew him back to the Church. The nearby LDS meetinghouse was part of Christofferson’s motivation to buy a home in New Canaan back in 2007.
When Christofferson sat down with Bishop Larson in early 2008, Larson told him he was welcome — along with his partner. The entire New Canaan ward affirmed Larson’s answer through countless acts of friendship and love spanning several years.
As Christofferson and Checketts’ spoke to a small group of Southern Virginia students — both Writing Institute participants and members of the LGBTQAI+ and Allies Society (a group run and attended by Southern Virginia students) — his message felt concrete, and it resonated with those who heard it. Vance Christensen (Class of 2019), a member of the Society, appreciated the experience.
“The intimate setting was a really refreshing change from giant conferences and devotionals that people hold on similar subjects, to say nothing about the fact that the main speaker was also gay instead of a straight person reaffirming church standards,” Christensen said in an email.
After the last guest left around 10:00pm, Checketts and Christofferson talked with Benedict until midnight as they refined their remarks for the next day’s forum. They continued the conversation over breakfast the next morning. All three are well aware of the fine line Church members walk when they speak about the LGBT+ experience and their faith. On a doctrinal, cultural, and personal level, it’s a sensitive and often controversial topic.
During Friday’s Convocation, they told the story of how Checketts became an integral part of Christofferson’s journey.
One Sunday, about four years after Christofferson had once again started attending church, Checketts invited Christofferson to study the gospel together in his home on Saturday mornings. It was a large commitment, requiring Checketts to carve out time from a hugely demanding, travel-heavy schedule, but the two met continually for over a year.
As Christofferson’s desire to follow Jesus Christ increased, it became apparent that he would have to make sacrifices. At the time, Christofferson was, as he described himself, “the most active nonmember of the New Canaan Ward.” He was still committed to his partner, but he had become increasingly invested in the Church and the ward. While both Christofferson and ward members hoped his partner would continue on the same path, the two eventually decided to end the relationship.
Checketts and Christofferson’s weekly gospel discussions covered several topics, including the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the scriptural concept of Zion. Some of the discussions led Checketts to reevaluate his leadership of the Yorktown Stake. As a result, he put a greater emphasis on individual ministry and helping struggling members meet financial needs.
The meetings also led Christofferson to choose to be baptized. He now serves as a Gospel Doctrine teacher in his ward in Salt Lake. He emphasized, though, that his baptism isn’t the “happy ending” of his story. After he came out to his family, his parents made it clear that ordinances and callings were not how they measured success. “The metric of their success was whether as a family, we were united in love for one another,” Christofferson said.
“The metric of their success was whether as a family, we were united in love for one another.”
Vance Christensen acknowledged the increasing support he feels at Southern Virginia, which includes the visit of Christofferson and Checketts. “I didn’t know how much background anxiety I had in college about my sexuality and religion until having the support and protection from the university,” he said. “I feel much more accepted at SVU being protected by Title IX and being a member of the LGBTQAI+ and Allies Society, and seeing a gay speaker in [Convocation].”
Recently, the University started the tradition of ending Convocation by singing the hymn “Love One Another.” This simple gesture took on a deeper meaning within the context of Christofferson and Checkett’s message.
Christofferson and Checketts’ visit highlighted a growing emphasis on inclusivity at Southern Virginia. During a landmark address about the University’s mission and honor code last September, President Reed N. Wilcox underlined the importance of creating a culture of inclusiveness. “We believe in inclusion. That’s a master standard for this school,” Wilcox said. “Inclusion is a principle of Christianity. It’s a divine principle. And it’s what illuminates what we’re doing here.”
